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What Does a Man Find Sexy in a Woman?

What Does a Man Find Sexy in a Woman?


by Le’Marqunita Lowe

Sexiness in a woman is not just an external concept, it is also internal. Many men come across women who have the perfect body, amazing hair, beautiful face, and nice fashion. However, many men find out that outer beauty does not always equate to inner beauty. Men start to become frustrated because it seems that they are dating women who wear a mask. Is there some sort of sign or smoke signal that can warn men that a woman is not for him? This may not be an easy question to answer, but when men realize that a woman’s sexiness is also internal, then they may be closer to the answer than they expected.


            At the beginning of relationships and dating, people tend to fabricate their own lives. As women, we sometimes fabricate our lives because we want to impress a man. Even though there may be some truth to our stories, we exaggerate our stories more than we should. Fabrication might as well be called a lie. When we start a relationship off with pretending that we are something we are not, then we set ourselves up to meet those expectations. A man will expect a woman to demonstrate and fulfill all of the truths that she has expressed about herself. This is why men find honesty to be sexy in a woman. Men love a woman who is honest about her life. Women who are honest about their life will be honest in a relationship. Let’s just say that a difficult conflict arises in the relationship, a man loves a woman who will tell him the truth instead of a lie.

Leave Baggage Behind

            Starting a new relationship is never easy, especially if you have been hurt from a past relationship. Women who have been damaged in a past relationship sometimes can carry bitterness. It becomes difficult to trust a man and difficult to form a connection with a man. Since it is natural for women to want to feel wanted by a man, we are already looking for that next mate. Even if a woman is still hurting, she thinks in her head that the next man will treat her better than the last man. The woman has an expectation that the new man will make no mistakes. This error is what causes a woman not to be sexy to a man. When a woman thinks with this mentality, she enters a relationship with a lot of baggage. Men do not like expectations to be placed on them that are based off of a past relationship. Men do not like when women talk constantly about the past and how much a guy has hurt them. A man will walk away from a woman if she does not learn how to leave her baggage behind. Men find women sexy when they are confident enough to love and trust again.


We live in a generation where the independent woman has been on the rise since the early 2000s. You will hear that independent women intimidate many men. You will hear that men expect a woman to carry the role of wife, cook, cleaner, and mother. I come to tell you that men find it unattractive when women are gold diggers. Men actually find a woman sexy when she is independent. Independence does not mean that you put yourself above the man. A true independent woman knows how to make herself equal in a partnership. No man wants a woman who always asks for his money or always needs him to cater to him. Men find it sexy to be able to support their woman, though knowing that she can also uplift herself if he was not around.


            Men do not find an obsessive woman to be attractive. In fact, obsessive women lead to very toxic relationships. No one wants a toxic relationship that can consume him or her because it affects your physical and emotional health. Men want to find sexy women who know how to communicate without being a bug-a-boo. A bug-a-boo is a woman who does not trust a man so she is always blowing up his phone. The woman sends the man texts every five minutes, she is always trying to find out his whereabouts, and she is always interrogating him about his day. Not only do men not find this sexy, they find it annoying and it will push a man away. Great communication is when a woman can have an intellectual, open, and casual conversation with a man. The woman is respectful of the man’s schedule and times that he can talk. If something happens where the man cannot call her for a day, she knows that he will communicate with her as soon as he can. Men do not like to feel suffocated, but they do like to feel wanted.

Believe in Something

            Having an open mind is such a wonderful characteristic to have. Having an open mind does not mean that you do not believe in anything. Men find women sexy when they believe in something and are willing to stand up for what they believe in. A man does not find it sexy when a woman agrees with anything people say without even knowing why she agrees with it. Believing in something means that a woman is willing to stand up for her values/morals. This shows a man that a woman is spiritually strong. Men love women with self-esteem and confidence. Self-esteem and confidence arises from a woman knowing what she will stand for and what she will not tolerate.

Men, before you use your eyes to discover what is sexy in a woman, remember to use your mind to find what is sexy in a woman. I guarantee you that you won’t regret giving a woman a chance who is honest, willing to love again, independent, a great communicator, strong in her beliefs, and confident. You will be matched with someone who is your equal and also someone who can uplift you.


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