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“Toilet War”

by Gabriel Pacana

There is an ongoing gender based conflict that occurs in many households. As silly as it sounds, the argument is over the proper position of the toilet seat after it is used. In other words, the Toilet Seat War.

By now you know that men and women urinate differently due to anatomy. Because of this anatomical difference, women tend to urinate in a seated position, while men prefer to stand up. Instinctively, women leave the toilet seat down to prevent from falling in while men leave the toilet seat up for a wider target and therefore, a cleaner toilet.

There have been numerous articles and online forums discussing this age-old argument. Even the scientific community and other members of academia conducted research to find some conclusion on this topic. In 2002, researcher Jay Pil Choi of Michigan State University used probability, costs, and a bunch of thick, complicated equations. Instead of dividing his research based on gender, he created categories such as up, down, and selfish. Choi’s research uses an optimization method which concluded that you shouldn’t change the toilet seat position when you are finished using the toilet. Clearly Choi seems to take a more neutral stance.

Another study suggests leaving the seat down to avoid marital conflict. In 2010, Martin Andresen of The Science Creative Quarterly decided to take on matters. Like Choi, Andresen uses different axioms. His findings show that when females outnumber males in a household then the seat placement is down. You would assume that seat placement would be contrary when males outnumber females, but his findings stated that the seat placement can be in the up position when the number of females in the household is three or less. Andresen’s findings give females the nod, but what about a two-person household? This is where individuals should practice patience and perhaps courtesy. It always helps to leave the seat down every now and then to give your lady a helping hand. If you continue to do so then she may lift the seat up for you. Thus, a resolution to this war can be reached.

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