Looking Strengths in the Mirror, Stomping on Weaknesses
By Le’Marqunita Lowe
As women, we tend to have a tug of war battle between our strengths and weaknesses. We become less than modest with our strengths, but we beat ourselves up for our weaknesses. It seems as if we can never find a balance between the two. Part of this confusion is that we do not take the time to examine what are the factors that play a role in developing our strengths and weaknesses. Once we are able to identify these factors, then we can look our strengths in the mirror with pride. We can then begin to stomp on our weaknesses. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, we will find balance.
A woman’s personality is a dimension that even psychologists have a complicated time studying. The personality of a woman is like the number of stars that exist in the universe. It can be extravagant, vibrant, confusing, stable, and even emotional. When it comes to a woman’s strengths and weaknesses, three traits usually determine how we can progress or digress. Passive traits. Aggressive traits. Assertive traits.
A woman who is passive can either be a blessing or a curse to her own personality. Women who are kind are considered to be loving, sympathetic, open-minded, and empathetic. Passive personalities are usually inverted and they observe the environment around them. For women, this can be a strength to have because people rely on you for compassion. People also rely on you to not cause any trouble because passive women tend to be in agreement with difficult problems. A kind and compassionate heart is definitely a strength that will make a woman proud of herself when she looks into the mirror.
A passive woman becomes a curse to herself when she allows her own happiness to be jeopardized by pleasing others. This type of personality is known as a “people-pleaser.” People pleasers are silent in situations because they are afraid of speaking their mind. Passive women allow themselves to become a weakness when they always say yes instead of no. Imagine the woman who always says yes to work overtime, and this prevents her from spending times with her kids. Not only does the woman become stressed, but the kids miss out from having their mother at home.
There are also women who exhibit an aggressive personality. Aggressiveness is a weakness because it’s always backed by fear and being defensive. Women who are aggressive have no rational or open mind. They become close minded and only look at the world from their point of view. People who are aggressive are always looking for a physical or emotional fight with someone else. Let’s be realistic, no one likes to be around a person who is always aggressive. Being respected is more valuable than being feared.
In order to make passiveness a strength and stomp on the weakness of aggressiveness, a woman must find a middle self when she looks into the mirror. The balance to a woman’s personality is assertiveness. Assertiveness is either passive or aggressive. Being assertive is right in the middle. An assertive woman knows when to say no. She thinks about the limits that she can set for herself to stay healthy. Assertive women say no when she knows that she is being taken advantage of by others. If a woman is starting to feel overwhelmed, she knows that she must let go of things to find a balance. Women who are assertive do not care if people like them or dislike them, as long as they are being respectful toward the person. In order to find this balance, work on saying no to things that are complicated. Each day practice and the confidence to be more assertive will build up.
Women begin to feel the sense of weakness when they experience failure. Failure is when we do not accomplish a dream/goal that we wished to be fulfilled. Many women also relate their flaws to their failures. In order to stomp on the failure and turn it into strength, one must look into the mirror and see what the opposites of failure are. In life, everyone fails because we are not perfect human beings. Learning how to bounce back from rejection is a great way to turn failure into a weakness. Having a “so what, it happens” attitude is not so bad, but make sure that it’s followed with a “what can you do to make the situation better” attitude. Bouncing back from rejection helps to turn failure into strength.
Failure can also be combatted by making resolutions for yourself. Many people create resolutions only toward the end of the year. However, resolutions can be created all year round. A resolution is considered a course of action that can lead to proactive choices. In order to create realistic resolutions, women must first examine the problems in their life. What are you struggling with? What makes you unhappy? What causes you to become physically sick? When we discover the problems in our life, we can create resolutions to counteract them. Stomping on failures can only be obtainable if the resolutions are realistic. Do not create something that you know you will not carry through with in the end. Create a resolution that you can work step by step with on a daily basis.
The easiest way to stomp on failure is to look in the mirror and be appreciative of your success. Be proud of your talents, hobbies, and accomplishments. Even if other people do not applaud you, always be proud of all of the goals that you have achieved. Remember to treat yourself to things that you love. Some of these things could include shopping, a nice meal, or taking a vacation. Encouraging yourself is a strength that you will always be proud of when you look in the mirror.
Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Learning to encourage yourself
- Not competing against others, but competing against yourself
- Not always letting others opinions put you down
- Willingness to change
- Both external and internal (make changes that target both)
Many women would not debate when I say that confidence is a strength and the lack of self-esteem is a weakness. Confidence causes a woman to know her own abilities. Women portray confidence in how they carry themselves. The lack of self-esteem leads to a woman not loving herself and becoming insecure. In order to combat self-esteem, we must first come to understand when self-esteem doesn’t exist. Self-esteem is how you view yourself in the world. This applies both externally and internally. If you do not love the image that you see when you look into the mirror, then your self-esteem is tarnished. You begin to wish that you were someone else, and you begin to wish that you could be someone else. Internally, you start to doubt yourself and every decision that you make. A lack of self-esteem arises when we do not take the time out to know ourselves. Spend time every day to focus on yourself instead of what you see others doing. When you begin to know your own strengths, then you begin to feel confident. Confidence is when you compete against yourselves and not always against others. Confidence is when you love yourself for your strengths, and forgive yourself for your flaws.
Growth starts with looking your strength in the mirror and being proud of it!